Make This Year's Resolution be to Live, not Merely Exist.

On the day to day you hear mutters of those around you wishing they had less paperwork, wishing they didn't have so many bills, or that they were more successful. However, at least once a year you hear those same individuals take ownership of their lives and proclaim "New Year resolutions". It is a fascinating phenomenon in which individuals who previously had no control of their lives or the outcomes of their choices are momentarily granted full control of their lives. Though most of us only take dare to take responsibility for our situations annually, the reality is that we are responsible for what we get out of life ever day, be it New Years Day or the middle of the year, what we make of life is our decision. To better ourselves and take on a challenge, or to pity ourselves and take on a handle of whiskey, the choice is ours. That being said, owning up to the fact that the life we live is mostly the life of our choosing is not an easy fact to accept, and for most it is quite a burden to bare. Now I am not knocking someone for attempting to have a "fresh start" upon the dawn of a new year. The new year ushers in an invigorating feeling of motivation, and with that we should all strive to utilize that empowerment to finally achieve goals we have long set our sights on. However, in reality most of us stop there, or worse yet never achieve a single resolution in the first place. Some lose that ten pounds they had hoped for but never attempt to become more adventurous, while many if not most never lose the first ten pounds in the first place. No, I am not saying that we should not harvest extra motivation whenever it arises, instead I'm urging everyone to realize that every day harbors potential for us to alter our lives for the better. To be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do, even if it is only a step in the direction each day, it adds up to be so much more than all of the halfhearted  "resolutions" proclaimed over the third glass of champagne at each New Year's Eve party. So let go of the mentality that has been ingrained in each of us that we have to wait until a new year is on the horizon to make plans to better ourselves and set new goals, and realize that every day that you open your eyes and draw breath is an opportunity to seize your potential and strive to be the best version of you and accomplish all that you have always wanted to accomplish.

Crows

Crows

Hope melts away into despair.

The crows have been picking at my brain for months now. 

Yet still I've kept the straight and narrow.

Years later I don't remember the small taste of fabled love.

But the bitter reality that is betrayal and emptiness. 

The Truth

The truth has its way of oozing through the cracks in the coffins we attempt to bury it in. The word secret loses all integrity by second grade, followed by words like “best friends” and soon after the facade of “love” is assassinated by hook ups, break ups, and every type of fuck up there is.

Emptiness

It’s the sad reality of it all, this is the emptiness you go home with after an eventful night of absolutely nothing. That missed kiss you never actually went for, she’s at home fast asleep and your picking yourself apart about the emphasis she put on a single syllable in a meaningless word that has somehow spawned your dreams and hopes of forever when the sad truth is, if it lasts 2 months or 6 years you are never…ever guaranteed that it will be forever. We used to scribble things down in notes and diaries now we leave them in the bottom of bottles.

The taste of alcohol and cigarettes
Like broken dreams and old regrets
Don’t pretend that we’ll be okay
I won’t pretend that you’re gonna stay

Fleeting Moments

All of my life I have been a blogger virgin...until now. Every choice has a consequence. Every day the chance to do something new or something old, to forge a new path or simply continue going down the path you are already on. It becomes so easy to fall into a "this is how things are" set of mind. It is natural, if life is rather stable, and all basic needs are fulfilled then words like dreams and desires fade from the mind and are replaced by complacency. Perhaps you are already chasing your dream, perhaps you'll one day attain it. There is also the chance that if you attain that which you have always dreamed of, it does not live up to the high expectations you have established....However we must continue to dream, to hope, to seek out our desires rather than become complacent with mediocracy. Our hopes must persevere through our failures and even through the realization that some hopes and dreams will not meet our expectations as they come to fruition. From failure and new experiences we are presented the opportunity to learn and grow. Yesterday I had never blogged before, a week ago I ended a relationship, two months ago she ended the same relationship. One year ago I was broke and the happiest I have ever been now my pockets are full and I am empty. Moments are fleeting, the individual experience we each take away from this short stent of life we are given is defined by perceptions that establish a set values and priorities unique to each individual. 

When all is said and done I want to look back on these memories and smile

At the current rate of my reconstruction it appears that will take a while

This reflection indicates the light has faded from these eyes

I changed out the mirror but the outcome was the same

Nothing holds greater destructive potential than lies

Even with your lies gone I fear this emptiness will remain